You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Your tits are I can't wait for
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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