My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
