went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
