i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
