im six kinds of drunk right now
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
two words...techno handjob
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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