Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
