you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
