dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's rum buckets o'clock
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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