Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
