i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
