fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
His hands were made for my vagina.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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