don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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