I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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