Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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