How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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