i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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