i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
