I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I have already put on my inside pants.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
