You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize