i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
