Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
