Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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