I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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