The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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