My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
