You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I think my fart just growled at me.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
