So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
