sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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