Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
