If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
