Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
how drunk are you?
Several
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize