just come out here and I will go home with you...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
