When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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