so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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