I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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