You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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