sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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