i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
