how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
