Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
