I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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