Your face is a jimmy john
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
