I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
