all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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