Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
All I want is dick and wine.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
