Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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