FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
