I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
