He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i've created a new STD.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
