was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
