I need help removing her.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize