Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
