I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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