I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
