hell yes lets make some ravioli
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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