theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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