So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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