the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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