It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize