Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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