I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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