Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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