I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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