I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
